hey delle,

how's work? how's life? how's darren? plans for the long weekend? i have to work weds. night and then i'm off so if alex can get friday off we're going to head out to pembina river campground for the weekend to just chill out. bunch of his friends will probably come too. but i bet we'll end up not going going to pembina like i've wanted to forever and will end up somewhere of someone else's choosing where the only thing to do is drink and there's nothing else to do during the day at all. so it'll end up sucking. whatever.

i've been feeling very bitter and negative lately and resentful when i don't get my way. i'm also unhappy with my body and want to lose 15-20lbs but it seems impossible. i lost 5 awhile ago and have kept them off but since being on nights my excercise routine has gone to shit. i'm considering going on something like, "hydroxy-cut" to help me lose weight faster. i'm sure i'll be happy once i drop a few pounds as everything else in my life is peachy. my reason for this new binge on loosing weight? some people gave me pics they have of alex and i from about the last 3 months and i look like a huge disgusting beast in everyone one of them. then to make it all worse, we were at chris' on saturday night and the chair i was in broke. i feel like shit looking the way i do. and i compare myself to nina who has really been getting on my nerves alot lately. just a few pounds, buff up, and all will be good. once i'm off night's there are a bunch of classes i want to take at millenium place. cardio workout type classes where they work you out in a group for an hour and i really think that might be the kind of workout i would benefit from. group stuff. then i can run on the rest of the days of the week by myself.

my grandpa is very sick and i'm incredibly worried about him. i've been meaning to write him a letter but haven't even started it yet. i'm painfully aware that it could be the last one he ever receives from me.

write back
love
michelle