how can you really turn down the idea of a tiny sweet old jewish man wanting to try out his new toy on you?

rhian,

today was a super weird day. it was filled with way too many highs and
lows to count. i woke up and made a shake with super yummy frozen
strawberries my mom bought. so good. then my mom started talking to me
about her foot and how none of the doctors know if it's infected or
not and what will she do? and she's so worried about tomorrow. and i
know all of this but i also know that my mom worries way to much than
i have even seen it actually be warranted. so i said my usual, "it
will be fine mom. there's no other choice than for it to all turn out.
just don't worry about it." and then she snapped at me for "not
carring." uh. i do care! but enough! it will work out! i told her the
obvious of her worrying about it won't change anything and it just
made her irrate. then she said, "make sure you put the juice away when
you're finished with it." ah! no way? i would never put something away
after using it! gaawwwwd.

so i went to southgate for my 10am interview with diane, the manager
or something of RnR, a shoe store. it was basically just a formality
because lindsay had already reassured me i'd get the job. good
interview. diane was funny. we clicked. i'm hired. i get paid by 6%
commission. this worries me. but she, as well as lindsay, reassured me
that nobody makes under $10 an hour. so, that's good. then i went
shopping and bought nothing. there was really nothing to buy and for
some reason, i was in a pissy mood. i think it's because when i went
into aldo i wanted to try on some boots. there were 2 sales girls just
standing at the counter chit-chatting it up and neither even glanced
my way. then i said to myself, i will only try these one if someone
talks to me before i reach the front of the store... no one did and
therefore, i remain bootless.

at home i ate the gorgeous comfort food that is tomato soup avec le
crackers and butter. yum! then i set out for my doctor's appointment.
i met with dr. katz, my dermatologist. and he told me that after this
accutane, i'm done. and he started me on some fancy new light therapy
thingy where i sit in front of this machine that shoots pulses of
light at your face for 35 seconds without damaging your eyes but it
causes the collagen in your face to be produced at a faster rate and
magically repair acne scarring, wrinkles and the like. i dunno about
that. but how can you really turn down the idea of a tiny sweet old
jewish man wanting to try out his new toy on you? i couldn't. he also
gave me a discount which really cinched the deal. they normally cost
$75/session. he's giving them to me for $15/session. thank you dr.
katz, thank you, i love you!

i went to jill's afterward. that's matt's wife's brother's girlfriend.
she's a really cool girl. we hung out and had tea and talked all the
while drawing in our sketchbooks. me, very poorly, and her with such
expertise that i spent most of my time sneakily watching her draw.
she's so good! it looks so effortless for her! i remember i time when
i could sort of draw and was less afraid to screw it up.

i just got home, like an hour ago and ate some nachos and talked to
nina. as i talked to her, i began to think this job is not such a
great idea.... there's the whole car issue. i only have 4 weeks till
finals begine, stress! and then my practicum starts. nina's practicum
is at the same time and organizing the car alone for that will be damn
hard. i don't know how much i'll be able to work while on practicum
because i'll be doing 40 hour weeks and then whatever homework
assignments on top of that... i just don't know if i've thought this
through enough. uh! should i take this job? or not? i'd hate to start
it and then be quitting in 1 month because i can't handle it. what do
you think? i need money but i just don't know if it's feesible to have
this job.

aaron is coming over tonight and we are going to watch the notebook.
she hasn't seen it but i have. it's so good i'll watch it again. we're
going to eat bad food and i already feel guilty about that. what is
with me? i haven't run since tuesday. today was too crazy. and i
played a very light game on squash with lindsay last night... i guess
that still counts. thanks for your advice about jealousy. it was
actually very helpful.

how prompt am i? huh? huh? very prompt indeed.

-michelle