nope. he did not come over. i am mad. he knows it. eventhough he apologized, i still couldn't get myself into a conversation with him. i didn't even want to tell him about my crappy day and all the complications. he said, "i'll make it up to you." what's he supposed to make up? i just wanted to see him tonight. i wanted to see him monday and that didn't work out. i wanted to see him tonight when we actually had concrete plans but no! i looked forward to it all day when i shouldn't have. even sitting in front of the tv at 9, i still thought, maybe he'd call and be on his way over. still the same thing at 930 and then when he calls at 10 to obviously say he's not coming over, i didn't even want to answer the phone. i mean, honestly, if he knew at 8 that he wasn't going to make it over i'd rather hear "no" than "maybe." maybe leaves me hopefully and results in disappointment. don't just tell me what you think i want to hear tell me the truth! i'm not sure why i'm so angry. i won't see him friday unless he wants to hang out with elisabeth and emily with me. tomorrow? i dunno. i might still be mad. as of now, i don't want to see him tomorrow. WHY AM I SO MAD? i almost feel like he's trying to get back at me for all the times i couldn't see him during the year because of school. but that's crazy right? he's just been busy and unable to fit me in. why do i feel so insecure all of a sudden? this is not like me.

i think i'd better get to sleep before my brain runs my heart into the ground.