and Everybody Was All Aglow

on friday night, i went to alex's for his bday party. had a backyard bonfire thingy going on and the action revolved between the outside and the kitchen. oh kitchens, i could fill an encyclopedia with kitchen memories! i could have killed a certain friend of alex's certain bitchy girlfriend. i am outspoken. one of these nights when she gets all out-of-hand-mean-drunk on everyone, i may just have to tear her a new... onto nicer things.

i slept at alex's. but it was a short sleep. no one left till 3 and we cleaned up a bit and didn't get to slumber until 4. i was up at 11 and got ready to go met my parents at sorrentino's to set up for the reception. that took about an hour and i was home at 3. showered, got ready, did a few last minute things and then went to the restaurant again for 5:30. everyone looked so beautiful! jill, you look very pretty in "bright" colours! and everyone was so happy! wow, matt and amy are one gorgeous couple! the dinner was fab, the salads were to die for and dessert looked yummy too. i declined on account of the high cream content and my lactose intolerance issues. alex said the taramasu was yum.

i was photographer girl and hence, in very few pictures. oh well, it's not about me. all the ones of matt and amy are lovely and i have to compliment myself on the quality of pictures given it was that camera's first time use. there is only one thing i could have been happier with: i had prepared a little thingy for matt and amy that i was originally going to put in their guestbook and then decided to give as a speech instead. i was all set... my dad introduced me... i got up, i looked down at my page and i found i couldn't even read the words! i knew the first one was "matthew" but when i said it in my head, i couldn't say it outloud! i was crying and i hadn't even begun to speak yet! i was embarrassed and got a napkin to dry my eyes but the tears were unending! i tried to laugh it off and thought i was good to go again but then mom said, "it's ok honey, i know you can do it." it became apparent in my head that i could not. i don't get it! i am the speech master in class when it comes to presentations! i was among people who i know and love! and who know and love me! oh if only the words would flow so easy as the tears! thank god, nina leapt up and said, "i'll do it!" i stood there and smiled and cried in matt and amy's general direction as nina flawlessly delivered my speech for me. thank you beaner, i love you. for those of you who could not hear it the first time, and because i'd like like a redo, and more of a chance to own the moment, here it is again. thanks again nina, for making it all better!

Matthew, all I ever wanted was the best for you. When we walked, when we talked, and shared our dreams and all the things we were afraid of, I wanted the things you talked about having for yourself, as much as the things I talked about having for myself. My things were only part of the plan, one factor in that great equation of "things that will make me happy."

I worried about you falling in love. I saw you love and lose. You loved so deeply and then hurt for every ounce you gave out. I worried about people not being good enough for you. I know that, like me, you are non-judgemental and love completely... that you don't always look both ways before crossing the street.

I remember when you met Amy. You picked me up from a night out, it was a night of a full moon, and you and I sat in your car, in the dark, with only the moon to light our faces. We talked about love once again. And this time, I wasn't afraid for you. I did not think, "I hope she doesn't hurt him. I hope she's good enough. I hope her claws are short." I felt at ease and comfortable that she would love you just as much as you loved her. And I was right. I stopped worrying and starting trusting in this love.

Amy, you are more than good enough, smart enough, funny enough for my Big Brother. You are so beautiful and so worthy of the things he has to offer. You are the best thing for him. I see a love that is ever reaching. I see in you someone as accepting as he is. You took the edge off him; I see him less bitter, more free and easy. And happy.

I don't wonder anything about your furture together. I just know that so long as he loves you, always and forever, you love him back equally. In my equation of "things that will make me happy" you have solved one part. I love you for this. Thank you.

after the reception, my parents invited a few of thier friends back to our house. we had tea, coffee, scotch, coolers; a whole gamet of beverages to suit all tastes! it began as a big mix up of who was where and slowly became a mennonite party with the men in the kitchen and the women in the living room. everyone mingled well, and we all told funny stories and laughed our asses off! dad had a few drinks and got funnier and funnier and more a more glowey as time went on. once everyone had left, dad, mom, nina and i were in the kitchen and we talked even more. dad got really sentimental and very sweet. he says, "well, both my daughters looked hot tonight." then he sort of hung his head and looked all sad and said, "my daughters looked hot." it was so cute! thanks daddy, i love you!

the gift opening was today and mom made cinnamon buns and matt and amy came over. we had more tea and coffee and i took even more pictures! all the gifts were just wonderful! some very thoughtful sentimental things and some very handy neccessity type things as well.

oh it's been a grand weekend! i'm delirious with happiness and lack of sleep.

i love you matthew, big brother of mine. events like this really seem to remind me of that.

i love you amy. welcome!