i'm feeling like a lazy sack of something very unpleasant. nights mess me up big time. i worked out on monday, not tuesday, not today though i'm now awake at a decent time and off till friday night with no excuse other than i'm really just bagged. totally and completely wiped out. it was not a busy night last night. it was not a particularly emotionally night either, even though a patient i am very attached was withdrawn from care. i really rejoiced as he had no quality of life what-so-ever. i said my own little prayer for him and wished him well. i did not stick around to see him off. i'm not ready for that to become a part of my career as of yet. i'm not there. not strong enough. not ready for the challenge. the opportunity will present itself when it is meant to. my eating schedule is a complete mess to. with when i wake up and when i go to sleep i'm eating about 5 meals a day. i'm trying to keep them on the small side considering how frequently they are becoming. i'm only eating when hungry and so far not gaining any weight, but i feel like shit. i'm going to go chug a lug some water.

mood: grumpy
music: snow patrol, chasing cars