so i wrote the test and i was sure i had failed, yet i convinced myself that there was no point in worrying about it until i knew for sure. so i went to school the next day and we were all working in the lab on neonatal advanced life support stuff. allan came in and started to pull a few people aside one by one. by the time he had called 2 people out seperately i began to panic, thinking he was pulling aside those who would have to rewrite. when i say panic, i mean panic. i think i had my first ever panic attack. my heart was beating wilding in my chest so that it was audible in my ears. i felt sweat pouring down the center of my back. the nurse's voice, who was instructing my group, suddenly faded out, everything i heard sounded like i was hearing it from under water. i felt light headed, and had to focus on a patch on the wall, a very small patch because my field of view had shrunked to a tiny hole surrounded by blurry black... weird. then dustin came into the room and said, "just so everyone knows, NO ONE failed!" holy shit. numbness. doubt... surely he's wrong or just kidding... but no, went to see allan and i had indeed passed... 66% but what the hell, i'll take it.
now i'm off for christmas and i can finally enjoy and recognize that it is christmas. i almost have alex's present ready and i'm so so excited for when i do! i cut my hair and i'm looking all super sexy way too stylish for my own good. carol is here. delle will be here tonight. i am calm.
merry christmas all! i hope your year's have had more highs than lows thus far. enjoy the rest!
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