Wait a minute sir
You kind of hurt my feelings
You see me as a sweet back-loaded puppet
And you've got meal ticket taste


or so i felt over the asshole at the mohawk who, while i struggled with my gas cap, took the opportunity to steal my pump and when i cast a glance his way to say, "whhhaaa?" he said without me even voicing the question, "i just need $10 worth. i'll be quick" and left me to struggle still. feeling stupid and like a cliche of a girl in my heels and jeans all ready to go out, i got the cap off and went to fill the sucker just to realize the pump did not work. so, i thought, he has to pay for his first before the pump can be reset and i can use it. he's in his van looking for money and i hear him laughing. i look up to see the attendant inside waving his arms. i'm like, "what?!" he comes out and says, "you have to lift the lever." he's nice about it. really very sweet. and says it quietly, obviously trying not to draw attention. yet, all the fellow gas needers and fillers are looking at me, as they did hear. i feel insecure and imagine that they find it even funnier because i'm blonde. i begin to think, 'i really should have dyed my hair years ago.' i know i would be perceived differently. i go in to pay and feel lame. the attendant explains to me that he gave that guy hell for not helping me out. i say, "whatever. it's one of those days." i'm friendly. i feel i can be this way cause really, i guess it is funny . not funny how buddy stole my pump and then laughed at me. what a jerk. seriously. but funny on some level because it's the just the sort of thing that would happen and always does. i leave. and as i'm driving away i think how hysterical it have been if i'd left the pump in my car and ripped the thing right out of the ground while concomitantly running over something metal, causing a spark and igniting the van beside me.